Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Humor.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
I had a problem. I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem...I don't know who to thank!
Rodney Dangerfield
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
You can find heroism everyday, like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support their families. Or as far as humor, the things I see on the job, on the street, are far funnier than anything you'll ever see on TV.
Harvey Pekar
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.
Christopher Morley, Inward Ho
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
Agnes Repplier, Points of View
Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders.
Oscar W. Firkins, Oscar Firkins:
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all themoney go?
It unscrews the other way.
J.K. Rowling
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
But there was another class of people, the real people. To this class they all belonged, and in it the great thing was to be elegant, generous, plucky, gay, to abandon oneself without a blush to every passion, and to laugh at everything else.
Leo Tolstoy
I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking the owner, how big I'd get.
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
Kurt Vonnegut
On Halloween..the parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year.. one kid tried to rip my face off! Now it's different.. when I answer the door the kids hand me candy.
JACKThat is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury.ALGERNONThen your wife will. You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none.JACKThat, my dear young friend, is the theory that the corrupt French Drama has been propounding for the last fifty years.ALGERNONYes; and that the happy English home has proved in half the time.
Oscar Wilde
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I hadany firearms with me. I said, Well, what do you need?
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get mycar going really fast, and stick it out the window. I've beenarrested three times for practicing.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope
But if you don't watch me, I will try and sneak in some humor. I see humor everywhere in life around me.
Marion Ross
