For two hours...some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem who to thank.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruitoftheloom guys laughing at me.
We were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with.
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guys pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him...Do you think we'll ever find them.? He said..I don't know kid.. there are so many places they can hide.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
When I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper 4 times 3 while I was reading it
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidiboomba. Yeah...I told him once... Doctor...every morning when I get up and look in the mirror..I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said..I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!
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