Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.
Oscar Wilde
(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
Terry Pratchett
My girlfriend was no bargain either. She used to braid her armpits.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem abouteverything.
Steven Wright
Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.
J.K. Rowling
Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie Mason
I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over.
Ben Stiller
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Benjamin Franklin
he was one of those diplomats who like and know how to work, and, despite his laziness, he occasionally spent nights at his desk.
Leo Tolstoy
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning . . . put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up by briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'
Conan O'Brien
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.
Artie Lange
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West
Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.
Olivia Munn
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand
