Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict.Strappi stared at him in rage that was incoherent until he managed to touch bottom again. 'Ankh-Morpork is a city', he recovered.
Terry Pratchett
People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, clever melodies, and they also make a lot of music for kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house.
John Hodgman
The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
Kurt Vonnegut
I brought you some coffee. he held out the cup but she waved it away.I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet.At that he smiled. How would you know what feet taste like?I just know.-Luke and Clary, pg.209-
Cassandra Clare
For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Phillips so the other day.
Jane Austen
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H. G. Wells
I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.
Parker Posey
One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as 'Bad Teacher.'
Chris Pratt
It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me.
Rick Baker
I went to a garage sale. How much for the garage? It's notfor sale.
Steven Wright
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Don Marquis
In the words of the philosopher Scepturn, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
Marilyn vos Savant
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.
Vera Farmiga
Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them
Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are?
John Green
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner
Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.
Mike Judge
