Humor Quotes

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

E.B. (Elwyn Brooks) White, Some

I commend my soul to any god that can find it.

Terry Pratchett

My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of humor, you can be sexy but comfortable, you can be timeless but fresh.

Michael Kors

It was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course.

Terry Pratchett

How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?

J.K. Rowling

I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.

William Gilmore Simms

That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully.

Terry Pratchett

I'm going out for a bottle of champagne. We're going to get bombed.

Stephen King

every idiot who goes about with a 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

Charles Dickens

I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.

Mark Twain

The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his view of humans, was a shepherd and not a goatherd. They have quite different ways of looking at the world, and the whole of history might have been different. For sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

Terry Pratchett

I knew a girl that was so ugly that... The last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.

Rodney Dangerfield

Certainly, anyone whom I've witnessed, who has gone through something horrible and life-changing, has a sense of ironic humor, or an ability to look at the peculiarities of the world and find humor in it.

Christopher Heyerdahl

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Steven Wright

God has a most wicked sense of humor.

Maureen O'Hara

I regard the writing of humor as a supreme artistic challenge.

Herman Wouk

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

Kathy Griffin

But it also became the experience, or was the experience, of the writers who were attracted to this kind of humor. They're all men or women who come from the same kind of experience in their own lives.

Norman Lear

Back in 2004, Kellie Overbey handed me her play 'Girl Talk' to read. I fell in love with her brutally delicious humor and the fearlessly deft way in which she drew her characters. They jumped off the page and begged me to give them a space in which to stomp around.

Carrie Preston

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge