Humor Quotes

Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.

Jonathan Swift

I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces.

Samuel Johnson

I am a great friend to public amusements, for they keep the people from vice.

Samuel Johnson

With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

Calvin Trillin

Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.

Cassandra Clare

Fortune and humor govern the world.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The happiness or unhappiness of men depends as much on their humors as on fortune.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?

J.K. Rowling

I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me arefurious!

Steven Wright

A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, Why were you going so fast? I said, See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it.

Steven Wright

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

Edward Albee

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

Rodney Dangerfield

People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wit is brushwood; judgment timber; the one gives the greatest flame, and the other yields the most durable heat; and both meeting make the best fire.

Overlung

We never respect those who amuse us, however we may smile at their comic powers.

Marguerite Blessington

Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.

David Seabury

Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the healing-power gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.

Florence King

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

Florence King

The jest loses its point when he who makes it is the first to laugh.

Friedrich von Schiller